It's so sad to me that parents with a child with reflux (or maybe it's only me) really get robbed of enjoying their newborn. I find myself wishing he'd grow up faster so I wouldn't have to hear him scream in pain every time I feed him. And I would feel less guilt about not being able to nurse if he were older and not in so much pain.
Parents that have not lived through this really don't understand. They try. They listen. But they don't get it. And I find myself being angry at them. It's not fair of course, but I can't help myself. When they say things like "sorry to hear about the sleeping issues", I just want to scream! This isn't a sleeping issue. I have to see my new baby crying in pain many times a day. I know that each time I feed him he's going to cry and writhe in pain. It's heart breaking. And there's not a lot of help, at least that I've found yet.
I still believe that God is good. I can't wait to see how He comes through on this one. I feel like I'm not going to make it...again. Haven't I paid my dues? I did this once before. God, are you listening?
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2 comments:
I don't believe we met but Kathy Elliott (my mother in law, I'm married to Josh Elliott) sent me this blog post because she thought I could relate. My baby just turned 1 a few days ago, but it feels like yesterday when we felt daily defeated by reflux/colic, etc. You described it perfectly. I remember dreading every time I had to try and nurse her (TRY being the optimum word because she would scream and cry so much, that I had to pump and bottle feed for the first 6 weeks or so.) Once she finally got the hang of nursing, she would still scream every time I attempted and I found myself stuck in the house because I was too mortified to go out for fear and have to try and nurse in public and have people starring at me and my inadequacies. I had sever anxiety every time she had to eat. Because of this, her weight was a huge issue which made it that much more frustrating because she needed to eat, but she wouldn't. Finally, we got her on Zantac (probably about 3 months) and that was a miracle for us! Things slowly began to turn around with her and by 6 months, she was off it and nursing like a champ. Not sure how old your baby is but all I can say is I am so sorry you are going through this, it well end and you will survive... even though it doesn't feel like it.
Hi friend. I found myself wandering through the blog world (it's been awhile) and I was sad for you in reading this post. Reflux is so hard. I'm sorry for the crying and the pain. Each day seems like it will go on forever. I remember thinking that McKenna's first 6 months of life seemed endless. You are getting through it, slowly, but surely. Love you, sister.
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